I have to give my parents credit in how fast they work. This past Friday, I told my parents that the girlfriend and I are no longer together. While their reaction was less than sad, they asked me to yum cha on Sunday morning, assuming they want to probably check up and console me or something.
I was not ready for this. I was tired from being out last night. I made no effort in my appearance today. I had on a black hoody to cover my bedhead and the dry skin on my face. I looked like I was going to rob a convenience store.
My parents started talking over each other trying to give context of how they connected with this girl and her parents. But the only thing I caught was when my dad said,
They agreed.
At the strike of 11 AM on the dot, the girl and her parents show up. She looks exactly like the type my parents would want me to be with. Sporting large round thin frames, straight black hair, conservatively dressed with zero fashion sense. Everyone sits at their assigned seating as if they are all too familiar with the arrangement. I could immediately tell she was either shy or not comfortable. Maybe she was ambushed as well. The talk was what you would expect between a boy and a girl with their parents present.
For those not familiar with Chinese culture – yum cha setups with parental presence is very common. The last time I was setup was four years ago. The conversations are entirely superficial and bold-faced lies. Why? Because chances are her condo security concierge knows more about her sinful lifestyle than her parents. My parents know all about my shennanigans, but in front of others they paint me as if I were Yue Fei 岳飛 (Chinese war hero).
The girl was clearly shy or not impressed. Quite frankly, I wasn’t sure how she felt but it didn’t matter. I was trying to control the conversation around the girl’s family and just let time go by, but my step mom would spin the conversation to be about me and then her. SO AWKWARD. My step mom to put it plainly has no chill. I always call her out and we laugh about it a lot, but she still does it.
While this did not turn out the way both sides of the parents had hope for – the girl and I leave the restaurant holding hands or something, I find my parents more entertaining than I did many years ago. Because they can laugh about things afterwards; whereas before it was a mission and if it failed, an argument would ensue.
Just thought you guys would find my Sunday highlight entertaining.